Here are 7 effective strategies for building strong connections with students all year long. 

We know the importance of building positive student relationships, but what about keeping them?  At this point in the year we’ve done all the cute getting to know you activities.  We know our kids. 

But there is a difference between knowing a person as an acquaintance, and having a relationship with a person.  The relationship definitely takes some time and effort to cultivate.  Unfortunately, now there is the stress of upcoming state testing, and a push to get through all of the standards.  You might be thinking that you don’t have any extra time.

 

But the bottom line is kids don’t care what you know until they know you care.♥​

 

Furthermore, we know Spring is in the air, which leads to more discipline issues and less engagement. Do yourself a favor and get ahead of the spring fever a bit.

 

When kids feel valued, safe, and supported, they are more likely to be engaged in learning (all year long). They will be motivated. Even better, you will be better able to communicate with them when a problem arises because they like and trust you.  Move from having acquaintances to having relationships, if you haven’t already. 

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Here are some simple ideas to help you (re)connect:

 

​1. Greeting each student

I am always busy in the morning- I’m usually printing something, running to the copying machine, finishing last minute planning, etc.  It’s inevitable.  I used to just quickly say “Good morning ___” as the student came in and kept right on doing what I was doing after this six second interaction.  There’s nothing wrong with that.  BUT, as I considered making better use of this “downtime,” I decided to make it my mission to really check in with each student.  It now looks something like this:

“Good morning____”
(Student puts away bookbag, goes to the bathroom,etc)

THEN- 

Student walks to my desk or wherever I am.  I look them right in the eyes and we have a 1 minute interaction, give or take.  It gives me time to read their verbal/ non verbal cues and help set them up for success.  Maybe they are dying to tell me something funny that happened at home that morning.  Or maybe they had an argument with their friend on the bus and they need to take a break.  Having that quick but meaningful non-academic conversation is a great way to start the day.  And if an early arriver needs to have that convo with me on the walk to the copier, so be it.

 

2. Popsicle sticks

Write each child’s name on a stick. Pull 3 sticks in the morning (for your eyes only). Those are the 3 kids you will spend a little extra effort focusing on today. If possible, those are also your lunch buddies (who you will sit with or zoom with during lunch break). I’ve found that just in sitting near these students, they will open up on their own. Let them take the lead and talk about what THEY want to talk about (nothing school related)! If they want to gab for the whole lunch break about Pokémon, that’s important to them, so it’s important to you! If lunch buddies isn’t an option, find 2 or 3 minutes at arrival, transition, dismissal, etc., where you can give these kids your undivided attention. Once the day is over, put those 3 sticks aside and keep pulling until the cup is empty, then re-stock!

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3. Let them share

During morning meeting, closing circle, or during another transition time, take a moment to ASK QUESTIONS! When students are sharing (which we know they absolutely love to do), model active listening. Look them right in the eyes and take note of what they are saying. If you need some ideas of questions to ask, check out these share cards. My students look forward to them each afternoon. We also do good ole fashioned “show and tell” on Fridays- thats when the magic happens (more on show and tell later!).

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4. Use what you know!

Use what you’ve learned about your students! Use their hobbies and interests to individualize instruction and connect. Sarah will light up when you hand her a library book on jewelry making after she told you about selling bracelets. Bobby will smile when you use his name in a math word problem about his favorite dinosaur. Talk about engagement.

 

5. Let them in.

Open up and let them get to know you.  I usually use the first minute of our morning meeting to tell them something going on in my life, or show them a picture of my husband and I or kids.  They LOVE hearing about me and asking questions.  I keep pictures up around my desk of my family and friends so they see me as a real person and don’t think I Iive at school.

 

6. Be a pen pal

Kids love writing letters. And everyone loves seeing something in their mailbox that’s not a bill (am I right?). Set up a mailbox on your desk where kids can leave a note and put up the flag.  When you get a note, send one back! (And don’t forget the P.S.-it’s the best!)

 

 7.  Say goodbye 

 

Just like with saying hello, say goodbye in a more meaningful way.  Let the student know you’ll miss them or you will see them tomorrow!  Pre-covid, I would stand at the door and let kids give me a hug, handshake or high five on the way out.  Now, I still make sure to say goodbye (with their name attached,) and we do an air five, or an elbow bump.

 

 

What else do you do to connect with your kids?