“You need to calm down. You’re being too loud.” Taylor Swift, you’re so right…but how?  How do we give upset students in our classroom a safe place to chill while also teaching them how to regulate their emotions?  How can they truly calm their bodies, reset their focus, and rejoin their peers without major disruption?  How do you successfully set up a calm down corner?

My experience with Take a Break spaces came after being trained in positive time outs from Responsive Classroom  circa 2014. The calm down area in my classroom started as a straight back chair, a timer, and a stress ball.  That’s it… And honestly, that was enough. Do I think the Calm Down Corner my students use now is more comprehensive and more meaningful? 100% yes! (more on that later).  But the intent was always the same.

Let’s first dive into the WHY before we worry about the HOW.

 

What is a calm down corner and why do I need one?

Essentially a calm down corner/take a break space/positive time out (whatever you want to call it) is a safe place for your child to go when their emotions are running high.  It is a place to reduce stress and anxiety. When your kids are tired, cranky, frustrated, disappointed, stressed, hangry, they need a spot within the four walls of your classroom to reset themselves and reflect before being able to do math problems.

Because children are still developing their prefrontal cortex (the part of the brain that allows us to regulate our behaviors and emotions), they have an immature nervous system.  They are often lacking the skills that help to manage their emotions.  Think of a snow globe.  You rock it around, rev it up, rile it up- snow goes everywhere.  Only after it settles do we see things clearly again.  (The Pawsitive Choices Curriculum sell a glitter brain frame which helps students visualize this.) So when student’s brains are feeling all mixed up, they need to “settle the hubbub,” as (Mind Yeti says) in order to attempt regulation.

For me at home, it is the pantry.  Let me go in there for 5 minutes and I will usually come out with a smile (and a snack).  For my daughter, it’s the upstairs closet.  She has 27 stuffed animals up there, cozy blankets, crayons and a notebook.  My husband uses his very small shed outside.  He stares at his lawn mower and he is happier.  

Those spaces are great for home.  But for school, teachers have lessons to teach and students can’t leave class to go in a closet every time they are feeling silly or frustrated.  Often times students who need frequent breaks or struggle with emotional regulation are removed from class even when their behavior isn’t dangerous. Offering a space WITHIN the classroom can afford these students the opportunity to access learning that they may have otherwise missed.

Also, students need to feel part of their classroom family.  They don’t want to feel like their teacher cannot deal with them if they are upset. The calm down corner within our classroom is right behind my desk.  My students go there to work through their issues (and have been trained to do so), but I am also right there if they need a safe adult to help guide them through this process.  We are teachers, so we scaffold and offer support no matter what.  We offer hugs and connection.  At the end of the day our student’s behavior is a form of communication, and they need us no matter where they are working to calm down.

 

The Calm Down Corner is not a Punishment

As an adult if I was in the middle of crying to my husband about how stressed I was about the kids, the very last thing I would want him to say is “Calm Down.”  That would only escalate the situation.

So first and foremost I want my students to know it’s OKAY to have feelings.  I tell them it’s completely valid to be mad, frustrated or annoyed in my classroom. Feelings are okay.  However, it’s how you respond to those feelings that matters the most.

When I start to see a student get upset or even getting a little squirrely, I may say, “Do you feel like your brain is feeling a little mixed up?  Do you think going to the calm down area may help you settle? Usually they say yes.  I can help to intervene before it becomes a bigger deal.  I want them to eventually be able to recognize this on their own.  It does take some practice.

I try to help students recognize their emotions so that they can go the calm down corner before they are too far unregulated to easily regroup.  The term  “time out” has always held a negative connotation. However, that’s not always the case.  Students need to know that taking a break in the calm down area isn’t a punishment.  It is a choice.  It’s truly an intervention to help them before they get into trouble.

Let’s look at the flip side of that. If I see a student scribbling on the carpet, I DO NOT say, “go to the calm down corner right now!” as a punishment. I do use logical consequences  and the student may have to clean the carpet and lose the privilege of using markers.

If a child keeps chatting with a friend during work time after two reminders I might call them to my table to separate them from that person and do their work with me.  If they are on the carpet goofing off while I am teaching I may send them back to their seat.   This is more of a negative time out.  I want them to have the immediate consequence of ‘Mrs. Moore has explicitly told me the expectation and I made a negative choice that landed me here.’ 

 

Setting Clear Expectations and Modeling

If you hand a child a stress ball when they are angry and you’ve never taught them how to use it as a tool, you better watch out! (I am speaking from experience). You MUST take the time to teach calming strategies before a child needs to use them.

If you make an adorable cozy space and then don’t teach kids how to use it, all you will be left with are broken fidgets and unregulated kids.

BigLittleFeelings puts it like this,” Practicing Coping Skills when calm is like doing reps at the gym..so that [the students] are building those coping skill areas and can access those tools in day-to-day life more easily. So that one day, they WILL be able to take that deep breath in a tough moment. ALL ON THEIR OWN.”

You must establish, teach and enforce clear expectations. As we know with anything in the classroom, we have to go slow to go fast. 

There is definitely novelty surrounding the Calm Down Corner. I think one of the most important steps in your modeling is to let every child sit there.  Let them explore and be curious, but also prepare themselves to use this space and tools appropriately. The first day I start with one child who sits in the corner and turns the 2 minute timer.  they then come out and tap on the next child.

When I first set up my calm down area at the beginning of the school year, there is nothing in it.  Nothing.  Not one pillow.  We build the space and practice together over a few weeks.  I use my morning meeting time to do this.   Another great time to practice is after recess when students need to calm their bodies anyway.

We might focus “drawing” as the calming strategy for the week.  During morning meeting, I may model what it looks like to draw when you’re sad.  Perhaps you want to draw something that makes you happy like rainbows or your dog.  Maybe you want to draw what is making you upset or you want to scribble on the paper. After recess for that week we may practice one or two breathing exercises.  The next week those 2 breathing cards and a pack of crayons and paper are in the calm down area.

We have to establish expectations.   Students know they may go to the calm down corner once they know how to use the tools correctly.  It is a safe place to calm down but they are not invited there to play and goof off.  Just like with any classroom material, they must take care of it and keep it orderly.

If your classroom calm down corner is a mess and students aren’t using it the way it was intended, close it down immediately. 

Before you get mad, re-model. Explicitly model what actions look like, sound like, and feel like.  Then use interactive modeling with students.

I invite all students to have their time in the calm down area the week after Winter Break and Spring Break as well.  We revisit all procedures and expectations,  just like we would with line procedures or carpet procedures.

 

Let’s a Peek into the Calm Down Corner in my classroom

As I mentioned this calm down area has changed quite often over the years. It has evolved into a more meaningful experience, of which I am very proud because I know it works.  After a bit of reflection, I decided to create the acronym C.A.L.M to help students navigate through the self-regulation process.

When using this approach, your students will be able to calm their bodies, identify their feelings, and creating a plan for rejoining the group. They will reflect on what they can they do to jump back from set backs and turn their day around. Let’s take a deeper dive into the various parts of the calm down corner in my classroom.

 

C: Close your Eyes and Breathe

Mindful breathing is an absolute game changer, and that’s why is got a letter of the acronym all it’s own. BeBuddy did an article all about the benefits of belly breathing and said, “Using your breath is the most powerful technique to relieve stress, center your mind, and calm the body. It’s almost too simple, which is why it’s often overlooked.

Kids often get stuck in a cycle of repetitive thoughts and worries. Mindful deep breathing helps kids bring their attention to their breath instead of thoughts or fears that can provoke anxiety. By breathing deeply from your diaphragm, you ignite the body’s parasympathetic nervous system. This system reverses the stress response by slowing the heart rate, lowering blood pressure, and calming the mind. With deep breaths, you can activate the body’s relaxation response, a state of profound calm.”

The very first thing students must do is take a breath.  I tried to make it more fun and engaging for them. For example, one type is birthday cake breath.  Students will pretend to blow the candles out on the card.  As I said I may only do the Birthday Cake and Rainbow Breath cards every day for a week or two after recess. Soon enough, a student can come up and lead it.  (Pizza breath is a class favorite.)

 

A: Ask, “How do I feel?”

I remember going to school the day after my grandmother passed away.  Perhaps you’ve had a death or a hurting friend.  Maybe an argument with a spouse.  We’ve all gone through something really tough and had to mask.  Kids do that too.

Luckily, when we ARE ready to unmask, we have the ability to explain our feelings in detail and work to regulate them. The problem arises when kids DO NOT have the proper vocabulary to be able to attach words to how they are feeling.

As teachers, we must do role playing exercises, read books and discuss character traits, and show pictures of real kids feeling certain emotions.

In our class C.A.L.M corner, the A stands for “Ask yourself, how am I feeling?”  Kids can look through feeling cards to evaluate their emotions.  I also store a mirror in the bin for them to see themselves. When we have restorative conversations with students after they are calm, this information is critical!

 

L: Look at the Strategies

The calming strategies are the actions- you may see a student building a tower with blocks or using a fidget.  They might be doing a yoga pose, reading a book, pushing on the wall or reading a book.  Since students are lacking the developmental maturity to often come up with these ideas on their own, we must offer these choices in a safe and  structured way.  Again, these are modeled over and over, and then once more.

M: Make a Plan

Ok, this is where the magic happens, but it takes a while to get here. In my first grade classroom, I do not introduce this component until everything else is going smoothly, a few months into the school year.

This stemmed from my students being seemingly calm, but not really knowing how to jump back into the activity they were playing  or the task they needed to complete.  It stemmed from me trying to have reflective/restorative conversations.

For example, the convo might have sounded something like this.  ” Sarah I know you got really upset with Jamal during the math game.  You showed me the signal, took a deep breath, knew you were getting frustrated, and used the noise canceling headphones while you relaxed on the bean bag.  What do you need to do now to turn this moment around and enjoy the rest of the game?”….crickets.

Thus the problem solving pets and their accompanying mini books were created! These were super fun to create, and I got to make cute names for all of the animals.  The focuses include compromise, apologize, ignore, say stop, talk it out, ask for help, focus, be kind, do your best, and show safety. (These are a perfect link to Family Social Emotional Newsletters. )

If I had Sarah  this year, she would hopefully now say, “I can ask for help because we are confused about how to play the game.” or “We can compromise and do rock paper scissors to decide who will go first.”

There are mini books for students to reference for each problem solving strategy. The color copies of the books can be kept in the calm down kit, and the black and white copies are for students to color on their own and keep. They love to reread these in their independent book bin.

I usually introduce the mini books on Fridays the second nine weeks of school.  I feel like this is what takes this calm down corner to another level.

 

Our Calm Down Corner Secret Signal and Accountability

When a child feels like they need to go over to this space, they simply show me the secret signal.  Just as with bathroom, water, or tissue, using a quick signal helps to limit interruption during instruction.  In our classroom, the “I need a break” signal is simply holding your fist up in the air.

As with anything, if I feel like a child is taking advantage of this experience I will say “maybe later,” but 99% of the time I just nod my head, they walk to the calm down corner, and return within 5 minutes.  It is no more of an interruption than going to the bathroom and washing hands.

The reason it’s only 5 minutes is because I’ve set that as the time constraint.  The first procedure (that I’ve explicitly taught and modeled is turning the timer).

To help with accountability I created reflection sheets.  I have one with only visuals that is laminated.  Students can just grab the dry erase marker and mark what they have done to calm down.

This piece is not completely necessary, but I think perhaps helpful if you do have those students who are using this space as means to get out of work. The lined sheets are helpful if you need to send documentation for parents- perhaps it is something teacher and student can complete together.

 

The Calm Down Corner is Not a Magic Corner

If I came home from work tonight upset and my husband said, “Go in the pantry to your take a break space.  I’ll see you when you feel better.”  That wouldn’t always fly. I would also expect him to offer me a hug and check in on me.  Kids are the same. They are not robots, and they may need that hug and a restorative follow up conversation. They may need more than this space has to offer.

If after you’ve spent ample time setting clear expectations and modeling, and yet the calm down corner still doesn’t feel meaningful for certain students, it probably isn’t.  I don’t think a calm down corner is a magic corner that will make every child in your class emotionally regulated and able to effectively communicate with you and others.  Perhaps the students who are unable to use it effectively need to take a break completely outside of the classroom, visit the guidance counselor, or are in need of a tier 3 intervention (and that’s okay).

In the same breath, I believe with every fiber of my being that putting interventions like this in regular education classrooms will help most of your students. It does more good than harm and is worth your effort in setting up. Perhaps you already have a calm down area, but you want to tweak it or make it better.  Like I said, start with a straight back chair and a stress ball and go from there.  You won’t ever regret trying to make your classroom a more positive learning environment for your students.