As teachers staring into our unruly classroom, we might ask ourselves, how can we help our students show more self control? Now that we’ve looked at what self control is and why students are lacking it, let’s look at how to meet students where they are and help them succeed by teaching it in the classroom.
We will look at 10 specific actionable steps you can implement immediately to help students show self control:
- Keep it Consistent.
- Embrace the Chatty Kathys
- Set Clear Expectations
- Get them Moving
- Go back and Walk
- Teach Mindful Exercises
- Use the Magic Words
- Use Visual Reminders
- Offer a Calm Down Space
- Ask the Right Questions
1. Keep it Consistent
As we know, students THRIVE on routine. The best thing you can do for your students is to have a predictable schedule. They love knowing what comes next. When we throw them off this schedule, students lacking self control can really struggle.
That doesn’t mean your days are boring! If students usually have reading stations in the morning, when it’s the Friday before Halloween let them still have reading stations in the morning, but add in some novelty! Perhaps they are reading non-fictions books about pumpkins, or writing about what they would put in their witches brew.
If you are having an assembly or field trip (can’t wait for those again), just prepare your students as best as you can for any changes that will occur. That’s what morning meetings are for! Use a visual schedule on magnets that you can move around in the morning so kids can still see what’s next.
2. Embrace the Chatty Kathys
Children are innately social, and very verbal. They like to explain things, and they are full of ideas. When teaching self-control, we need to take this into account.
Margaret Berry Wilson says rather says “rather than fight this need, [we need to] harness it for learning.” In her book Teasing, Tattling, Defiance and More…, she writes that “students need to feel a sense of connectedness with each other throughout the day.
For example, address some content through conversations between students. Give them a chance to turn and talk with a partner about an intriguing question you’ve raised.
When students work independently , allow for brief quiet conversations. Teach them how to check in with those near them, ask a question, and share in meaningful ways.”
3. Set Clear Expectations
With clear and firm expectations, students have structure and know what the boundaries are. Eric Hathaway lists many benefits to this in his blog post, including:
- Students know and understand what’s expected of them, which gives them confidence.
- They monitor themselves and take more responsibility for their behavior — and their learning.
- The children spend more time on task and academic learning time increases.
I find the easiest way to do this is a simple chart divided into 2 sections: looks like/sounds like. Fill in this anchor chart with your class. For example, getting in line- what does that look like? What does that sound like? Going to the bathroom- what does that look like? What does that sound like?
Continue this for every routine, procedure, time of day, etc.–especially your carpet time, when you have a small group, when students are working independently.
This becomes even more solidified to the students using interactive modeling.
4. Help students show self control by Getting Them Moving
How else can you help your students show more self control? Allow them to move. One major factor in lack of self control is Hyperactivity. Students can have trouble staying in their seats, and can become fidgety. They talk excessively and get bored easily. So how do we allow them to release this energy so that they can focus?
We’ve seen Finland’s test scores. Did you know that of every 60 minutes of school, they spend the first 15 minutes doing physical activity, allowing time to release stress? At first that may seem like time wasted. However, in reality it means that during that last 45 minutes students are refreshed and are actually more on task and focused.
Don’t take away recess!
As teachers, we should not take away recess. Our students need it, and taking away recess does more harm than good. In this article, Playworld states “research shows that taking away recess doesn’t improve behavior the classroom. In fact, an excessive amount of boredom and energy will make misbehaving kids even worse.
A study on fourth graders found that students were more focused and less fidgety if they’d had recess. Teachers aren’t only punishing their students when they take away recess –– they’re punishing themselves by filling their classroom with inattentive, unfocused, and hyperactive students.”
This year I gave my students a morning recess as well as an afternoon recess. If that’s not doable for you, add in brain breaks between subjects. I find that GoNoodle, the learning station, JustDance are invaluable. If students do not want to participate, (which they usually do) I tell them they at least have to stand and walk in place to get their blood flowing.
In addition, add in SIMPLE movement to your lessons when teaching self-control. If you are studying bats, give them 20 seconds to fly around the room like a bat. When retelling a story, let them act out the characters. Let’s say you are counting by 5s, have them hop on one foot. The possibilities are endless. Investing this time is so worth it.
5. Go back and walk
Students lacking self control are impulsive. They might constantly blurt out answers, run instead of walk, have their hands on others, do something before asking for permission, etc.
Teachers often encourage the stop/think/do approach- STOP what you are doing, THINK about your choices, DO what is best for you and others.
Larry Ferlazzo believes self control doesn’t just happen, but must be taught. In this article he says “if we want children to be reliable…prepared…focused, teachers must assist them in becoming so—not only by supervising and regulating them but also by increasingly giving kids responsibility…and by holding them accountable for their decisions. Children develop self-control only when they have been granted appropriate opportunities and experiences of actual control from which they can learn and grow.”
Do you teach logical consequences?
This is also where logical consequences come in, especially the “you break it you fix it” consequence, which is a way to make it right.
For example, if a student impulsively runs across the room to get something, they must go back and walk. If they leave their materials everywhere on the table, they must go back and clean them up. If they push some out of their way, they must apologize.
6. Teach Mindful Exercises when teaching self control
Mary Anne Buckley, author of Sharing the Blue Crayon said, “If we monitor our internal thoughts and feelings, we learn to reflect before we act, and we wait patiently and interrupt politely- all components of self control.”
A way to do this is through mindfulness. Help your children to be more aware of themselves and the world around them. Heighten their senses, and help them to harness the energy of their bodies.
There are hundreds of free resources online, but as with anything, I would say start small. When the kids come in from recess, use a mindfulness video on youtube to help settle their hubbub. If you know what that means, you might be a fan on MindYeti as well. Check them out!
7. Use the Magic Words
Another issue is that students with self control issues might be easily distracted. This could mean that they have difficulty listening to directions. They might forget what they are supposed to be doing, or get off task easily.
You can help with this by being explicitly clear about what you want them to accomplish, one step at a time.
This begins by getting students attention. Before spatting off all the things that they are about to do, ring a bell. Then wait. You must wait until you have all 19 pair of eyes looking at you with their hands on top of their heads, or their hands around their eyes like they are looking at your through binoculars (their “attent-o-scopes” if you are familiar with SecondSteps).
Acknowledge what you see as you are still waiting. “I notice ___ is ready for directions.”. I notice ____ has his eyes on me.” Once everyone is ready, start with these magical words:
“In a moment___”
I’m sure you know how frustrating it is to see four children starting to walk across the room before you are done speaking. When teaching self-control, you should include “in a moment” before directions. It signals that they don’t have the green light just yet.
- For example, “In a moment you are going to walk to your cubby and take out your math workbook and turn to page 76.”
- Next, wait 3 to 5 seconds. Count in your head if you have to. Allow them time to process what you just said.
- Then, ask a child to repeat your directions. Maybe ask another child as well. This gives more reflection and processing time.
- Point to your written directions on the board.
- Last, give a green light to move. It could just be “you may now move.” Sometimes I’ll even add a clap or another fun word they repeat back to signal they can move. (It’s usually a food).
- Finally, have them use the “Ask 3 before me” strategy. Usually they can find a friend who was listening and is willing to help them.
8. Use Visual Reminders to help students show self control
Personal space, raising your hand, walking feet- there is clip art for that! Whatever the struggle, print a small matching piece of clip art and tape it to the student’s desk, or put it on the back of your badge. When they are having an issue, simply get in close proximity to their area and point to the reminder.
If you are in the hall or in the lunch room, point to it on your badge.
This is an incredibly simple but effective strategy.
9. Offer a Calm Down Space
I had a student who everyday around 2:30 started to get really squirrely. She would start being super giggly, and kept wanting to lay down on the carpet. I had her start to go the calm down area for about 5 minutes when we walked back in from special area.
She would then join us, and was so much more focused. Turns out she was just overstimulated by that time in the day. Letting her have those 5 minutes away from the group was worth it to me because I usually spent much longer trying to remind her to sit up or to be quiet.
A calm down corner is incredibly valuable. Check out my post on all things calm down corner here to help you get started today. If you don’t already have this space set up in your classroom, check out mine. It is my student’s favorite area in the classroom because it helps them to reset themselves in a meaningful way.
10. Ask the Right Questions
At times it seems like we are beating our heads against the wall repeating directions and commands. We even ask questions because we really don’t understand, “Why are you out of your seat again? Why do you keep tapping her like that?” Oftentimes, a child lacking self control doesn’t have a constructive answer to these questions.
In Angela Powell’s book, The Cornerstone, she looks at placing responsibility of solving a problem with the student. She suggests that the teacher, “ask questions that redirect behavior and require the child to determine a more appropriate action.”
For example, sometimes instead of issuing a command like “Get in line!,” you could ask “Where is your place in line?” This change shifts responsibility to the student to “typically pause, think, and then self-correct either through a verbal response or change in action. The teacher has not given a command for the child to rebel against, and the child has not had to ‘give in’ because he was never told what to do.”
The teacher can then respond with something encouraging like “good choice,” “you got it,” or “thank you for fixing that.”
Another thing to consider is replacing those why questions with questions that prompt students to think of appropriate behaviors. So instead of “Why are you tapping her?” you might ask “Where should your hands be right now?” Instead of asking the student why they are out of their seat, ask, “Where should you be right now?
Perhaps in reading this, more ideas have come to mind when in order to help students show self control to your students. What have you found helpful in your own classroom? Please leave your thoughts!
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One Response
Thanks.